Emotion and Meaning in Music

Before every wrestling match in high school I would always have the same routine. There was always a pre-meet team warm-up, followed by a personal warm-up, then I would sit down and wait until my weight class came up and it was my turn to wrestle. I would usually get fairly pumped-up after the warm up, but depending on the meet I would sometimes have to wait up to thirteen matches before I would wrestle mine. During the waiting period I would usually become bored and distracted from my wrestling mindset, losing a lot of the energy and excitement that I had built up for my match. However, starting about two matches before my weight class I had a routine to get myself pumped-up again. I would put on my headgear and start to get myself warmed up with a jog or by doing other wrestling warm ups. When it got to the match before mine I would always button the straps my headgear and put on "Invincible" by MGK featuring Ester Dean and pace back and forth, getting lost in the music, focusing on the approach to take in the match and becoming more pumped-up then I could be in any other scenario.

This tradition started for me in the meet with my first varsity match. I was extremely nervous before the match, so much so that I was preparing myself more for a loss than actually wrestling my best in the match. However,  I still got up two matches before mine and did some warm ups nervously, still not even close to the mindset I needed to even put up a decent match. Then as the match before mine came along, I decided to take out my iPod and shuffle the songs I had. I think you can guess what song came on. I started to pace and found myself more focused than I had ever been previously. I was more pumped-up for a match than I had ever been before and I felt more ready than ever to take on the kid I faced. I struggled for most of the match, but due to the mindset I was in from the song I was able to stay within striking distance. With thirty seconds left I was four points down, but I took the kid down from neutral giving me two points and put him on his back for the remaining time giving me three more points and the win.

This song puts me in a state of flow unlike any other song I've heard. Whenever I hear the opening notes followed by Ester Dean's voice it takes me away from everything else in the world and puts me in a state of mind where all I can think about is the music and the wrestling strategy that I come up with going into a match. Sometimes the thoughts feel a little out of place looking back on listening to it while at the gym or any other non-wrestling situation, but in the moment it always feels right because no matter what I'm doing. The song as the sign in this scenario stands for wrestling as the object, but the interpretant goes beyond wrestling and pumps me up no matter what I'm doing. The indexical connection I have with the song does more for me than get me in a state of mind to wrestle, but it gives me more confidence and boosts my spirits no matter what I'm doing, which is why the song means so much to me. Beyond that, I have a huge symbolic connection with the song, contributing greatly to the level that it gets me pumped-up. I can't help but to feel "invincible" every time I hear the chorus, "I hear voices in the air, I hear 'em loud and clear, tellin' me to listen. Voices in my ear, nothing can compare, I just want to listen, telling me I'm invincible, I'm invincible, I'm invincible, telling me I'm invincible, I'm Invincible, I'm invincible, I am." I can't think of any other song that has as large of an effect on my emotions as this song, and it continues to have a deep meaning for me every time I hear it.